Day 7 - Play in the Snow
9th February, 2021
I almost forgot to check in for this one. And in doing so, I showed myself just how easy it can be to start something and give up before it can ever mature. I could’ve said ‘screw it’ and jumped into bed (I am tired, after all). Alas, that may well have been the first excuse to abandoning the experiment of my daily fellowship reflection.
As I’ve aged, I’ve come to value the terms of talent, cleverness, and genius less so than terms like consistency, responsibility, and perseverance. I’m comfortable knowing that most people will never see, read, acknowledge, care, or comment on this daily exercise, so I’m forced to dig for something deeper to keep it going. Will it improve my writing? Will the accompanying audio improve my speaking ability? Will the growing collection equal anything more than its constituent parts? I have no idea. The temptation to prioritise the external evaluation of such pursuits gets in the way for exploring it for the sake of simply exploring it.
If nothing more than a way to exercise consistency of a sort, it will have been worth it.
On a completely different note, there was around 15 inches of snowfall in our Glasgow suburb today. It was too dangerous to travel to the hospital to see my wife and newborn, so besides plenty of time on the phone to keep my wife company and see my son, my toddling daughter and I had great fun in the snow. Wading, rolling, jumping, and sledging. Such fun. It was yet another reminder that I will bring the best of myself to this fellowship if I be kind enough to myself to allow all these rare and guilt-free family moments to play out untethered to my own self-tyranny.
Making the long term goals of my fellowship play out is also helped by a constant reminder to myself that the tiniest of steps each day are no less impactful than the stereotypical ‘Eureka!’ moments in research. Today’s step forward was securing a quote on the biggest piece of kit my lab will use. Brilliant one job done.
Back to enjoying an evening dance with my daughter, who then fell asleep on my shoulder as we listened to Beauty & the Beast. If I don’t have a tombstone, that moment will be etched on my parting soul.
What will you hold on to?
See you tomorrow…
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